A familiar friend

My last post was pretty dreary. It's been a dreary time around our house. I love that even in a time of sorrow and struggle God is still on His throne and is still in complete control. Today we turned a corner. There is still a long road ahead but today we turned a corner. A familiar friend showed up at hour house today who had been absent for some time. This is that friend that doesn't have to ask permission to show up but just comes on over when it's ready. This friend met us in the back yard for almost 2 hours this afternoon. They showed up on Brave-One's face as he taught his little sister how to throw a ball. It jumped up on Resolver as we tossed a baseball back and forth. It met Joy in a bucket playing peek-a-boo. It even even showed up on me as I watched my children enjoy the sun and freedom of the air. Laughter, it's been so long! For a few hours we enjoyed the company of our old friend and asked them to stay awhile. We remembered how good their company felt and we didn't want to let it go. Laughter really is great medicine. I'm thankful that my Father catches every tear that I cry and allows me to feel the deep pain. And I'm even more thankful that He knows when a breath of fresh air is needed and laughter is the only thing that can release all the pain. 

Today we turned a corner. We are believing God for direction as we continue to follow in obedience. Today we felt a bit of peace in our home. Today we move forward. Today we laughed. 

Relying and Resting

Faith means resting -- relying -- not on who we are, or what we can do, or how we feel, or what we know.

Faith is resting in who God is and what he has done.

And He has done EVERYTHING.

Tonight as I was putting Joy down for bed she was screaming at the top of her lungs in resistance. She hasn't slept well in over a week. She has screamed and screamed unless I am physically touching her. It's been a very long week to say the least. Tonight as I was kneeling beside her crib, arm stuck through one of the slots so I could tightly hold her hand while she thought about sleep, I wept. I wept over the fact that my little girl is going through something that she cannot explain to me. I wept for a tremendous trial that are family is walking through. I wept that my husband is physically sick from all the stress asleep in the room next door. I wept for one of my children who is walking through something that is so much bigger than himself yet he will not allow anyone to walk with him. I wept. And as I wept the only words that I could sing to Joy was "God is so good. God is so good. God is so good, he's so good to me." Over and over again I sang this tune. I bet I sang it for almost an hour as I held her little hand and sobbed after each line. I know that God is good. Although I can't really "feel" the goodness of God at this moment I am thankful that doesn't change his goodness. My faith right now is very weak from the heavy burdens that we have been asked to carry. We desperately need some rest. I am opening my mouth and recalling what he has done for me because that is what will get us through. Relying not on who I am and what I can or cannot "feel" but who God is, has been, and will always be.

We serve a Risen Savior who is alive and sitting on the throne interceding on our behalf. He is all-powerful and has dominion over all things. Satan only has power over that which God has allowed. The Lord is Mighty and is bigger than all my burdens. He has never left me in all the dark times I've been through before this. The Bread of Life sustains me each day and is all that I need. He is more than enough for me. His grace is sufficient for me. His strength is made perfect when I am weak. He loves me because he created me in his image. He has called me an heir with Christ. He has written my name in the Lamb's Book of Life. I will spend eternity with him.

In this moment, in my heart, I am resting my head on my Father's shoulders just like my little ones do to me so often. As they run into my arms they rest their head on my shoulder in completely safety and rest. My heart needs to stay in that posture with my Heavenly Father. He is the only one that can provide me with rest. His love is the only thing that will always be.

The Power of Words

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good,and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.Genesis 1: 3-5

God spoke the entire creation into existence. His very first act in His Word is to CALL out light. What power! In fact the entire bible is filled with his words. His mind. We devour his Word as truth to live by. We recognize the power in His Word. As believers we understand the power of God's Word, but do we understand the power of our own words? If God has given us access to the same power as Christ then how could we not believe the power of our words? The Bible speaks over and over again of people casting out demons, healing, and bringing forgiveness with words. I read over and over again in the bible at how people were so careful to choose their words. So many of the words I read are spoken to bring hope, life, healing, and love. There are also many words that are used to bring hate, slander, death, and destruction. Oh the power of words.

Do you ever notice how in our culture today we have throw words around like we would a piece a trash? So many of the words spoken aren't really what we mean. We aren't always considerate of others with the words we speak. Maybe we aren't thinking at all when words slip out of our mouth. When a friend has a need we say "oh I'll pray for you." But how often do we really take the time to pray for them? Or maybe we say "let's get together soon" but never take the time to actually get together. We tell someone "good job" but in our heads we don't believe it. And even worse we say way to much out loud that should actually stay in our head, "She's fat. He's not fast enough. I am so much better than she is. That kid is so mean. Did you see what they did? This cashier is so slow. This server must not want a tip." Oh, I've said those things. I'm not perfect. I'm preaching to myself here. Sometimes the words spoken truly are meant to cause pain to someone else. Maybe it's the though that if I bring someone else pain it will give me a second to not focus on my own pain. It's ridiculous. If from the very beginning of time words have had power why would me or anyone else feel that they no longer have the same? Words will either bring life or destroy. It's one or the other. There are no neutral words. In our house we often say, "you words can either be roses or thorns". Either way they have power. 

If I were more intentional and thoughtful with my words I would always say "I love you" to the people that matter to me. I would tell my husband how much I admire him and how thankful I am to walk this journey by his side. I would tell Wrestler that his smile lights up a room. I would tell Resolver that he makes me laugh till my belly hurts with his constant entertainment. I would tell Brave-One that he melts my heart every morning when he says "I love you, Mom" as he runs to the bus. I would tell Joy that she makes me want to be a mom every moment of every day. These are the things I want to say but don't always. Some days I choose to get frustrated that they don't do their contributions, things are a mess around the house, that no one helps me make dinner, complain that I have to change another diaper. I am sad to say that this is more realistic. My words have power. They are either building up or tearing down. And you know what? I'm thankful for their power. I'm thankful that God has given me power in words that I can change any moment with my words. I am thankful for the life, hope, and love they can bring. May I choose to bring life more with my words. 

11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.1 Thessalonians 5:11